Using Structure for Practicing Success

Here at Art Moore Studios, we emphasize our No Nag Practice Policy. And we've seen great success with it. Kids take more responsibility for their practicing, and it reduces the emotional tension some parents and children have around practicing music.

Reducing emotional tension around practice is very important aspect of helping our students practice and play for the rest of their lives. 

But what do we do when our kids aren't practicing everyday, or when we feel they aren't meeting their (and their teacher's) goals?

There are a few things to remember. Most students don't practice because they are avoiding it. Most students can’t remember to practice. They are just too young to remember to practice. Childhood through teenage-hood (boys especially) have a hard time establishing a routine for anything, be it laundry, brushing teeth, homework or even practicing the instrument they love.

We know that our brains aren't fully developed until 25. And I have experienced with my own children (as teenagers and adults), inaction is almost always a function of forgetting. And our children often feel pretty bad for it, when they just haven't developed on their path far enough. 

Once we as parents realize that our expectations should be lowered for our children remembering to complete things, we can then set up a structure for success and increased personal responsibility.

Structure with agency is an amazing way to help. Here are two great ways to get started.

For the child who forgets:

Set up a time or a system by which the student has a practice opportunity set aside. You can discuss when that is together (probably preferable), or as a parent you can dictate it. 

When the time arrives, be active in reminding the student that the time has arrived for them to practice (Because I can't remember anything, I put a reminder to remind my kids in my phone). Try not to conjole or force, just remind.

Once you remind them, you are done. If the student practices, great! If not, there are no punishments or stern talking to. There is only tomorrow's reminder. You are trying to be your child's teammate. And right now your job as a teammate is to remind and congratulate. 

For the student is resistant to practicing:

Sometimes the emotional conflict has increased around practicing, and the child is now resisting. How do we setup structure for this? A simple reminder won't work, but that's where we want to eventually get to.

Setup a agreement to specific time to practice. At this point you're a little stronger with the structure. Practice is happening, and we're gonna do it at this time, for this long. Probably for a shorter time than what your teacher has assigned (remember you're convincing them that you are on their team).

Practice happens no matter how the child feels about it, however, they must have some agency for this to be successful. The agency comes in this way:

It's time to practice. You have to sit here with your instrument for this time. But you still get to choose if you practice and what you practice. You can work on your assignments, play old songs you know, or even not practice. That's all your choice. But you have to sit here until the time is up.

Boredom is our friend here. And after about 3 weeks of this kind of structure, your student should start enjoying practicing again, firm in the knowledge that he can still choose to not practice. Soon, you should easily be able to move back to the first example of setting up structure, reminder only.

In practicing, structure with agency is our best tool to help students develop personal responsibility and life long learning. Be on your child's team and refrain from emotional tension, while you help your student find their own practicing path.